We fool ourselves, we say things in our mind that we want to believe. We want to believe our own stories so much that we try to keep others around that help to reinforce the stories. Part of the story telling involves buying into ways that make us think that we are living the right way. We buy into the idea that there is a right way and a wrong way to live.
We hear others tell us what we should be doing and then we buy into it. For instance, we hear that we should on occasions be still. We hear that we should relax. That we should not always be doing stuff. So we try not to do. We go to classes such as Yoga and we try to practice meditation. We try not to do. But in the trying not to do, there is still much doing.
It takes us a while to understand that we are doing the non-doing. We don't see that we are addicted to the habitual ways we do things, even when it causes us harm. We do everything the same way without realising.
The first step to stop doing the habits that cause us harm is to notice what we do. We are our own problem and our own solution. If we want to change we can but not through doing what we've always done.